The Issue With Intimacy
by A Strange Audacity
Summary: Toby's been scared to have sex ever since Jenna abused him, but if there's one girl who can change his mind, it's a certain Spencer Hastings.


Aria Montgomery, Emily Fields, Hanna Marin, and Spencer Hastings, nicknamed the "Pretty Little Liars" for their numerous run-ins with the law and the media, sat around a table at the Apple Rose Grille. It was the weekend before their senior year in high school started, and the girls wanted to get in as much time together as possible before they were shoved back into the hallways of Rosewood High, which were full of scandal, lies, and gossip.

Spencer yawned, despite her efforts to keep her utter boredom in. Aria and Hanna were both leaning forward in their seats towards each other and talked in low, excited voices about their new favorite topic of conversation – sex. Emily just took in slow glugs of the flask that had become a staple of her purse and laughed raucously like she was actually having a good time.

Sure, Spencer was happy that her friends were having a good time getting intimate with their boyfriends, but it was like they had nothing else going on in their lives to discuss. After all, the four of them had been through _everything _together, what with Mona being their psycho-stalker and all.

"So how far have you and Toby gone, Spence?" Hanna asked playfully. Spencer knew that the remark was meant to be fun, but it sounded more like a taunt.

Not that this was information that she shared with the girls, but she and Toby _had _the Talk already, and he made it very clear that, though he loved her, he wasn't comfortable with sex yet. It was understandable, she supposed – after Jenna had abused him like she did, how could Spencer expect him to be able to take that leap?

But it still made her feel excluded.

•••

Toby Cavanaugh strolled down the streets of Rosewood, content with his life for the first time… well, ever. For so long, he had been regarded as a freak, an outcast who didn't deserved to be included. At one point, everyone had even believed that he was a murderer.

Rosewood was majorly messed up.

But now, almost a year after he moved back, everything was falling into place. No, the residents of the town didn't exactly regard him as Mr. Trustworthy, but they didn't send sharp glares in his way and steer their children away from him anymore.

More importantly, though, he finally had Spencer. She was perfect, the fabled 'girl of his dreams,' the one he never thought he'd be able to find. They had managed to stand by each other through a tumultuous summer full of police inquiries and false accusations. He still couldn't quite wrap his head around the fact that someone would want to torture Spencer and the others, but he had learned to accept it for the most part. Too many weird things like that happened in the town; he had almost learned to get used to it.

The Grille cast light onto the narrow avenue it was located on. Toby glanced into the windows of his old haunt, surprised to see his girlfriend sitting amongst her friends. Instead of leading the conversation, like she had a tendency to do, Spencer was staring glumly down at her plate and stabbing at piece after piece of grilled chicken. On the contrary, Hanna and Aria looked like they were having the most interesting conversation of their lives, and Emily's head was tilted back, taking a long glug of an iced tea that she had undoubtedly spiked with whatever her liquor choice of the night was.

Toby wanted to burst through the doors and wrap his arms around Spencer to comfort her about whatever was wrong, but that was only the _slightest _bit unrealistic. For now, he could only hope that her mood would improve and walk on down the street.

•••

The next morning, Emily and Toby were scheduled to meet for coffee. Emily had plunged into such a state of despair that her friends thought she should be around someone most of the time, and after they had gotten sick of their ever-drunk friend, they begged Toby to take her on.

He was more than willing to get together with Em – at least for coffee. It was hard for Toby to imagine that Emily, the ever-optimistic girl he knew, could be that depressed, but he guessed that Maya's death, along with all the other trauma she had to endure, would be more than enough to change her.

Toby stood outside The Brew (Rosewood's newest coffee shop) and glanced at his watch. Emily was already five minutes late, though she had assured him ahead of time that she'd have nothing going on Saturday morning.

Though it was already ten, the little suburb was still waking up – traffic was slowly pouring into the streets and couples ambled freely down the sidewalks like there was nothing in the world they had to get done. Toby glanced eastwards, where a large hill was located, and on that hill, the outline of the Hastings mansion was visible. He wished he could be up there, be with Spencer….

"Hey, Toby," he heard a tired voice say with slightly slurred words. Emily approached him, bags under her eyes but a slight smile on her face.

"Hi." He grinned. "So you want to get some coffee?"

The inside of The Brew was hip and fashion-forward, clearly directed towards the urban hipster group – not exactly a recipe for success in Rosewood. The pair ordered their drinks, grabbed them, and sat down at one of the many free tables in the large, open space.

"So how have you been?" Toby asked, trying to make some sort of conversation.

Emily just glared at him. "How do you _think _I've been?" she asked condescendingly. "My girlfriend died this summer and I've been stuck in the sweltering heat, hammering away at houses for people who were barely even grateful for them." As if instinctively, she pulled out a sleek flask and was about to pour it into her Americano before Toby extended his hand over the drink.

"Don't," he warned, his tone unusually sharp. "Okay? I can tell that you're miserable, I can tell that you don't think there's any other way out of this than drinking. I can _also _tell that you've already had a few drinks. So just… don't."

"You're pretty presumptuous," she replied scathingly. "You couldn't even _tell _that I was gay when you asked me out."

_Ouch._ That hurt. Toby chose to ignore it; what good would snapping at her do? He was sure she already had lots of that from the other girls. There was a long pause. "Are you at least glad to be back in Rosewood?" he wondered.

She lifted a shoulder up, seeming to resign to some sort of communication. "I guess. It's kind of boring to be with my friends now, but whatever."

"What do you mean? You guys are so close."

"What I _mean _is that ever since Aria and Ezra Did It, all she and Hanna've been talking about is sex. Spence's a total bore now; she always clams up whenever they start talking about it."

Toby froze. "Wait… Spencer's not happy?"

"Good job catching on, Einstein," she snapped. "Now can I drink this or not? I don't want good Bailey's to go to waste just because you're such a teetotaler."

He just grabbed the flask out of her hands, tipped it into his own mug, and handed it back to her wordlessly. Was he really making Spencer's life miserable by insisting they wait? She said it wouldn't be a problem… but it looked like it was.

•••

Spencer glanced out her window and back down at her AP Statistics textbook. No, school hadn't started yet, but a Hastings _always _preps for her classes ahead of time. Along with of tutoring middle-school kids, taking intermediate college courses, and working at the Rosewood Observer, statistical inference seemed like the cherry on top of a college prep sundae.

A knock sounded on the bedroom door. Spencer eased out of her armchair and threw it open, anticipating Melissa or someone equally heinous. Instead, strong, muscular arms were wrapped around her.

"Toby!" she shrieked in excitement. "What are you _doing _here? I thought you had work this afternoon."

"I did," he admitted, "but work can wait, can't it? You only have a few days of summer left; I figured we should spend the most time together as we can."

"Aw." She leaned into him. "How did coffee with Em go? Was she already drunk?"

"A little bit," Toby confessed. He was reluctant to detail the events of their conversation. He spotted the mountain of textbooks and notes. "Looks like you've been working hard."

"My father thinks that the only way to prepare for my senior year is to finish it before I even start," she groaned. "I swear, I haven't even had a chance to lie down this whole break."

"Maybe I can help with that." He smirked slightly.

She stepped out and fanned herself with a novel. "It's so _hot,_" she griped. "Isn't is supposed to cool down by September?"

He raised his eyebrows and glanced pointedly down at her. "It's not a rule that you have to wear a blazer and woolen knee socks, you know."

Spencer let out a little giggle. "Look at you, trying to get me undressed!"

Toby shrugged. "Is it a crime?"

She looked at him in admiring disbelief. "Maybe I _will _change," she replied flirtatiously. Opening a dresser drawer, she pulled out a blue pajama shirt that used to belong to Toby himself.

"You still have that?" he asked incredulously. "I had totally forgotten about it!"

"Of _course _I still have it!" She sighed thoughtfully. "I fell asleep holding it every night when you were gone. It was the only thing that made me feel close to you."

Toby closed his eyes and shook his head. "I still can't believe I was stupid enough to think that you would cheat on me."

Undoing the first button on his shirt, she murmured softly, "Neither can I." They leaned in and their lips touched for a sweet, chaste moment before Spencer broke away. "I'm going to go change," she whispered seductively, and disappeared behind French doors into her bathroom.

•••

A few minutes later, she walked back out into her bedroom in nothing but the shirt. Toby, who had settled down on the bed and started flipping through a childhood photo album of his girlfriend's, looked up at her and sputtered. Spencer was drop-dead gorgeous, with her sleek, dark hair making a long stream down her back and her long, tan legs stretching out for miles. "Hey," she said casually, as if nothing was amiss. "So do you think you can stay for dinner? My parents aren't going to be home from work until after I normally eat, plus I think Melissa's still visiting Garrett in jail." She wrinkled her nose at the thought of her sister's despicable taste in guys.

"I can stay for dinner," he agreed, thinking _And breakfast. And lunch. And dinner again. Can I just stay here forever and bask in the light of your beauty?_ "So, um, I was kind of thinking earlier, and we've been dating for a long time now, so I was wondering…" He sat forward and patted his lap, beckoning Spencer to sit on it. She obliged happily. "If you're still interested in having sex, I'm open to it."

"Where did this come from?" She gave him a weird look. "Em didn't say anything, did she?"

He squirmed uncomfortably. "She might have said something about Aria and Hanna pressuring you into it, or something."

Spencer sighed and turned around to face him. "That's no reason to do it, okay? Besides, what happens between the girls and me is my business. And even if we did have sex, it would be considered statutory rape, because you're eighteen and I'm still a minor."

"Can I talk to fun Spencer and not law school Spencer for a moment?"

She gave him a calculating look. "Fine. Anyway, I want our first time to be special, not just because my loose-lipped friend tipped you off about something that I'm _really _not happy she told you about."

Toby glanced down. "Sorry… I guess I wasn't really thinking. It's just that when I'm with you, I feel happier than I ever thought I could feel. I love you more than anything or anyone I've ever loved before, and I have no question that I'd love to spend the rest of my life with you. If I had the opportunity, that was." He quieted, realizing that he had been rambling for too long.

Spencer took in a sharp breath. "Y-you really feel that way?" She wasn't one to be emotional, but she was holding back happy tears.

"Of course I do! I love you, Spencer, and whenever you think the right time is, I really do want to have sex with you. I guess I just overreacted when I said that I wanted to do it _now. _Whenever's good with you, that's fine." He sucked in a breath. "I can't change my past – everything that happened with Jenna – but I can look to my future. And right now, that future's you."

She wrapped her arms around him and kissed him passionately to respond, pushing hard on him with her body. "I love you," she whispered softly. "I will _always _love you."

He leaned back and ran a series of kisses up and down on her jawline while succumbing to her force and leaning back on the bed. When she started pressing even more, he lay down straight.

Spencer's body arched with spritelike gracefulness as she kissed Toby more and more fervently. Their bodies fit together so well, so perfectly… it was meant to be.

•••

That was the only moment when Spencer Hastings gave into peer pressure. And she proudly admits it, because it was one of the best, happiest moments of her life. As for Toby, he still had scars from his past, but the love of his life was helping him to erase those and make fond new memories to last a lifetime.


End file.
